Best Bits of Maud

Best Bits of Maud

Naturally brunnette, with the occasional 'blonde moment' - much to the amusement of those around me, and myself. I often laugh at the stupid things I have done in my life, 'cos if we don't laugh at our own stupidity, then we'd cry. Laughter is key.

So here's a few, hopefully to tickle you. (oooo, I'm a poet, and I don't know it!)

  1. Not too long ago I booked to go to a post graduate open day at my university to check out Radiography. It was on a Saturday, and I was playing hockey in the morning prior. I rushed back from our away game, got to uni, went into the library toilets and got changed into something un-sweaty and respectable - couldn't really go in my hockey kit. Much to my surprise, I was a week early. I mean, it should've clicked really when strolling through campus, which was dead. Also, it REALLY should've clicked when I attempted to enter the building, only to find it locked. Still didn't click until I double checked my email...
  2. My original dissertation idea was going to involve a local NHS trust. Thinking I was a big deal, proper organised, and on the ball, I went about scheduling a meeting via Gmail. I had never scheduled a meeting on an email before other than Outlook, so had no idea what I was doing. I then found out that I had invited irrelevant people along to my important meeting, to which I had to then desperately uninvite people, looking like the rudest person ever. When I turned up to the meeting, already nervous, the first thing the consultant said to me was "I wasn't sure how many people were going to turn up today".
  3. My best friend, (who has been there next to me for 4 entire years since day one of uni, shoutout! hoollllaaaa! Oi Oi) once showed me a text she had received from her father. My friend is Filipino, and her father had texted her half in their native language and the other half in English. She said to me "I don't think you're going to understand", to which I replied "I'll give it a go", looked at it for like a minute, and just said "Nah, haven't a clue". Who do I think I am? I can hardly speak English sometimes, let alone another language. 
  4. The same friend, and I, used to help out and run a scheme at University called the 'Health MOTs'. It was a free service to students and staff to come along for an informal range of basic health checks. This involved measuring people's height with a combined scales for weight and height. To get the right height you had to move part of it up to the top of their head, and then read the bottom number of the scale. We kept on reading the top of the scale which was 131cm. So, can you imagine the shock on people's faces when we disclosed to a whole session of clients that they were morbidly obese, when in fact they were perfectly healthy. Wrong number..... whoops. I'd like to say we learnt it the first time, but we did it again the next year.
  5. During first year of University, the same friend (again) and I were obsessed with going to gigs. So much so, that I looked online during a physics class at some upcoming gigs. I thought I saw 'Red Hot Chilli Peppers' playing in Fibbers, in York - which is a tiny venue - and it was for £10 per ticket. I thought "WOW, these are cheap and why are they playing in such a small venue?". Showed my friend, after very nearly booking us tickets, and she just looked at me and said "Laura, that's Red Hot Chilli PIPERS". Can you imagine if we had actually turned up? The disappointment would have been insane.
  6. It seems to be a rolling theme, that when myself and my friend are together we end up doing daft things. Yep, so here's another time with my friend. We went along to a music festival in Nottingham - it was fab. We had a wail of a time! But, we are also not very good with crowds and people. Especially during a day long festival in different venues across Nottingham. We got so overwhelmed that we had to take a break. While there were hundreds of people throwing themselves into these music venues jamming along to live music, there we are in the car park, in my car eating fruit and nut mix, playing Spellfall (a game on our phone), and doing some yoga moves as our backs were killing us. Good job no one was in the car park...
  7. Now onto a few moments with my boyfriend. He thinks I'm daft at the best of times, let alone when I do something actually genuinely daft. There was a stage when we first got together that I would wake him up in the middle of the night and just shout "FLUFF! THERE'S FLUFF COMING DOWN FROM THE CEILING!!!" while frantically swatting away this supposed fluff... I think subconsciously I was telling myself I needed a feather duster.
  8. Recently, I dreamt that he was extremely hairy. Like full on, gorilla hairy. So, when I rolled over half awake, I asked him, "Did you wake up as a gorilla?", and rolled back over to sleep. He was very confused. 
  9. Last year on a snowy day we were on our way into uni when we realised that the screen wash pump was frozen, and covered in snow. The car screen was so mucky we could hardly see out, so I had the fantastic idea of opening the sunroof and chucking down some water. Much to our surprise, and shock, we got absolutely COVERED in snow from on top of the car... and we laughed until our sides hurt for the rest of the journey, while nursing a wet patch that could have been mistaken for an accidental toilet moment.
  10. Just realised today that we have been 'washing' our laundry for months on end now in double concentrate Fairy fabric softener, AND Lenor fabric conditioner. Safe to say our clothes have smelt absolutely divine for the past few months, but not sure if they have been clean! 

Hope that tickled you, as much as it did remembering them all.

- MM x